The Here and Now Is About as Comfortable as a Cold Shower

I was talking to my mentor once, just after he’d moved back to India. He was sharing his thoughts and feelings about his next steps. Instinctively, I went into planning mode—offering solutions, thinking out loud about the future. He thanked me, then gently said, “I just need to sit with all my feelings first.”

That landed deeply.

He pointed out how, in the West, we often push feelings aside and try to fix things straight away—without really acknowledging what’s alive inside us.

Since then, I’ve made more effort to pause. When something big or unsettling happens, I’ve tried to sit with my feelings before jumping into solution-mode—before making things “right” again just so I don’t have to feel the discomfort.

The only way I can describe it is: it’s like stepping into cold water. There are tons of studies and articles on the benefits of cold showers, but in that initial moment, your only instinct is to escape. Get out. Get back to something that feels familiar, warm—safe.

Unlike cold showers, though, I stuck with the practice of sitting with my emotions. Over time, it’s gotten a little easier. When I allow myself to really feel, I can often let go more freely. It’s still not easy—my reflex is still to avoid, to plan, to fix—but with a few deep breaths, I find myself able to sit. Just sit, and feel. I’m learning to stay present, even in the midst of strong emotion—without becoming overwhelmed or attached to it.

And after that? I move on—not by running, but by rooting. By meeting what’s next with a little more presence.

So tell me… what feels more challenging to you: sitting in a cold shower, riding a wave of emotion, or embracing both with a curious heart?