Comfort or Trauma

When I was working in a children’s home, I found that quite often—seemingly out of the blue—a child would start creating reasons to get told off or to sabotage what had otherwise been a wonderful day.

Upon talking to the psychologist and play therapist, and looking at the child’s family background, it became clear that what we saw as trauma, they saw as comfort.

This is something I often see now, both as a therapist and as a friend—and if I’m honest, I’ve experienced it myself. Making trauma comfortable because that's what feels normal. Anything else can feel scary, unfamiliar, and probably a lot of hard work.

The question is: how do we begin to make the uncomfortable feel comfortable?

How do we accept and forgive a world that can harm us, while still trying to look at it with hope, joy, and curiosity?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.