The Hardest Bit Is Done Now… Or Is It?"

I was at a funeral recently and overheard someone say to a grieving family member, “The hardest part is over now.”

That phrase really stuck with me.

Understanding Grief: A Journey, Not a Destination

I've always understood the funeral to mark the beginning of the grieving process. It's the moment that confirms, yes, this is real. That this person you loved is truly gone. To me, that’s when the hardest part begins.

The first year is especially tough. You move through a series of “firsts” without them. Birthdays, holidays, and everyday routines become reminders of their absence. You start learning how to live a new kind of life—one without their physical presence.

The Nature of Grief

Grief doesn’t just go away. It softens, maybe. It goes dormant. Until it doesn’t. A song, a scent, a place—and suddenly, it’s back. Like a jack-in-the-box, popping up when you least expect it.

And then, just as you’re feeling the weight of it all, the support disappears. All the care and check-ins you received around the time of the funeral begin to fade. People return to their lives. You’re left with your grief. Alone. And there’s this quiet societal assumption that you should be okay now. Because, apparently, the hardest part is over.

Life Transitions and Their Challenges

But this isn’t just about death. We do this in so many life transitions. Think of someone coming out of an abusive relationship, or leaving a long-held identity behind, or going through any major emotional upheaval. People are compassionate while you’re “in it,” while you’re actively leaving, grieving, or shifting. But once it's “over”? Work expects you to return to normal. Friends stop checking in. Life moves on—and you’re left processing alone.

Sound familiar?

The Importance of Ongoing Support

So here's the question I keep circling back to: How do we change this? Do we need to? And if so—what does that look like?

I believe it starts with understanding that grief and healing are ongoing processes. They don’t have a clear endpoint. Just like chronic pain or trauma, these experiences require time, patience, and support.

When we face significant changes, we often feel isolated. It’s crucial to create spaces where we can share our feelings without judgment. Whether it’s through support groups, therapy, or simply talking to a friend, we need to foster connections that allow us to express our vulnerabilities.

Finding Your Path to Healing

In my own journey, I’ve found that embracing my feelings has been a powerful tool. I’ve learned to sit with my emotions, to acknowledge them without rushing to push them away. It’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to grieve.

I’ve also discovered the importance of self-care. Engaging in activities that nourish my soul has helped me reconnect with myself. Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or spending time in nature, these moments of self-reflection allow me to process my experiences more deeply.

Reclaiming Your Life

As we navigate through grief and trauma, it’s essential to remember that healing is possible. We can reclaim our lives and experience greater well-being. It’s about finding that deeper connection between our mind and body.

If you’re struggling, I encourage you to seek out resources that resonate with you. Whether it’s a book, a podcast, or a community, there are tools available to help you on your journey.

Let’s shift the narrative around grief and healing. Let’s create a culture that acknowledges the ongoing nature of these experiences. We all deserve to be seen and supported, no matter where we are in our journey.

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey

In closing, I want to remind you that you’re not alone. We all face challenges that can feel overwhelming. But together, we can create a space for understanding and compassion.

Let’s embrace the journey, with all its ups and downs. Because healing isn’t a straight path; it’s a winding road filled with twists and turns. And that’s perfectly okay.

Remember, the hardest part might not be over. But that doesn’t mean you have to walk this path alone.

---wix---